It Only Takes A Moment

As time goes on and we get more into a routine here I think less about missing China.  My time is being filled with new things to do like DRIVE to the grocery store, DRIVE to go pick up my daughter from school, do a gazillion loads of laundry, clean house, potty train a 2 year old, the list is never ending.  But as these things come more and more natural I find myself not thinking about the way I used to do things.

As days go by however, there will be something that triggers something inside of me and I am immediately hit with sadness and grief and a ache for China (and all that we left behind).  Oh man how it hurts!!  I think it hurts even more than when I would miss China almost every minute of everyday.  It's almost like you take all that longing and sadness that I would feel over days and compact it into one instant.  When it happens I'm not sure what to do with myself.  I'm not a very emotional person, I tend to have a very steady and even personality but when I get hit head on with the bus of emotion feel like I am going to collapse and tears come rushing to my eyes.  I wonder if I feel like this because as I adjust and get more comfortable here I'm scared that I'm going to forget China (and all that I love there)?