Slippery Slope

Well, today marks 5 months since we repatriated but lately I feel like it's only been weeks.  I'm not really sure why . . . I knew it would take a while to feel acclimate back but I feel like I'm moving backwards.  I was beginning to feel more comfortable here, accepting my new life, getting into the swing of things, feeling the grove . . . but I'm feeling like a fish out of water again.  Shouldn't it just get easier and easier?  I feel like it's getting harder and harder!  I find that I miss my friends even more, I still don't find life in America that easy . . . I mean, really, how many different kinds of chips do I really need to have to pick from! I miss life in China so much that I dream about it almost every night.  The dreams are so vivid and real that I wake up from them, thinking about them and that puts me in gear to think about China for the rest of the day.  I'm getting down because I feel like I should be past this, but I'm not so something must be wrong with me.  Look at my husband . . . he doesn't seem to be struggling!
As I sit and write and look over my words I remember the post-field seminar we went to and remember the little graph they made about acclimating back to your home country.  There was this little line that moved up and down and up and down and then back up and down again showing how there is slow movement toward "fitting in" with a little bit of "falling out".  I'm on that down again slope . . . and that's okay.  It's just as I'm on this downward slope I feel like I might not make it to the back up again part.  I just hope that I can find the strength and energy to climb that line back up again.