Mixed Emotions

This past week I have felt just about every emotion the human can feel. Here I am 1 week from my due date, a time of excitement and anticipation, a time to celebrate new life, nervous . . .
and I find my self crying, grieving, morning the loss of a life. A young 10 year old boy who should be outside playing in the sun, riding a bike, running around chasing his friends but instead he is moving on from this earth.

How can I celebrate a my new son's life when my friends are losing theirs?

Our fellowship this Sunday spent time praying, crying and singing. We sang this song, I have sung it a dozen time before, I have always enjoyed singing it but this Sunday it had an all new meaning to me. I had been crying my eyes out the night before, pouring my heart out to God, sharing my feelings with my husband and here on Sunday morning God touches my heart through this song "Blessed Be Your Name". In the song it talks about how we bless our God's name when things are good and how we bless His name when things are hard. When God blesses us or we are going through trials we still need to praise Him for being Him. When everything seem perfect or when we are walking through a difficult and painful trial He is still God & He is perfect. Whatever God does, whether He chooses to pour out His blessings or I feel He has turned away I will choose to say "Blessed Be His Name!"

The bridge hit me; "He gives & takes away, my heart will choose to say, Lord, blessed be your name." It is God who gives and takes life. Whether we are morning the end of a life or celebrating new life we will Bless His Name!

"Blessed Be Your Name"
Matt Redman

Blessed Be Your Name
In the land that is plentiful
Where Your streams of abundance flow
Blessed be Your name

Blessed Be Your name
When I'm found in the desert place
Though I walk through the wilderness
Blessed Be Your name

Every blessing You pour out
I'll turn back to praise
When the darkness closes in, Lord
Still I will say

Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your name
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your glorious name

Blessed be Your name
When the sun's shining down on me
When the world's 'all as it should be'
Blessed be Your name

Blessed be Your name
On the road marked with suffering
Though there's pain in the offering
Blessed be Your name

You give and take away
You give and take away
My heart will choose to say
Lord, blessed be Your name

A Year of Ups & Downs

2009 started off with a special trip to Beijing to confirm that my second pregnancy was fine after having a slight scare. The rest of the year followed suit with lots of simultaneous good and hard times.

We started off the summer with 6 weeks of full-time Chinese study while my 3 year old daughter began Chinese preschool. At the end of the summer, we then headed to Beijing and welcomed our little boy into the world 2 weeks early. I was elated to meet him, but sad that my sister, who had been planning to be there, missed it.

Shortly after our son was born he lost over 15% of his birth weight, becoming scary skinny and dehydrated. I had to concentrate on his gaining weight, but was extremely blessed by the support of my husband, sister and good friends. I am happy to say we now have a happy, plump baby.

My father, after suffering for 2 years from MS, left this world and his decrepit body and was made whole in Heaven. (His mother also went to be with the Lord just a few weeks before he did.) My entire family was able to get together, mourn over our loss, celebrate my father's inspiring life and rejoice in the fact that he is now worshiping at Jesus' feet. I was glad in the fact that my husband was able to travel to America with me and that my family got to hold my precious new born (only 5 weeks old at the time).

We have ended the year spending Christmas and New Year's with my husband's family for the first time since we have been married. It has been a big blessing to make these memories together as a family.

Even during the hard times I was able to rest in the Savior and find peace. Looking back I can even see how God has worked everything out and how His timing was, and will continue to be, perfect! Thanks for giving us a great year full of blessings.


Pardon for sin and a peace that endureth,
Thine own dear presence to cheer and to guide;
Strength for today and bright hope for tomorrow,
blessings all mine, with ten thousand beside!

Great is Thy faithfulness! Great is Thy faithfulness!
Morning by morning new mercies I see.
All I have needed Thy hand hath provided.
Great is Thy faithfulness, Lord, unto me!